When I first came into contact with a possible pattern of shame I had no sense of it. It wasn’t even that I had an inkling and pulled down the shutters. There was literally nothing. The words fell into a void.
Now I understand my own reaction as a normal protective disconnect.
Shame gets bound up in the physiology of our body, permanently woven into the fabric of our tissues. It causes us to constrict, to pull in, to slump, to seek invisibility. The intensity caused me to disconnect from it, unnoticed.
Why put all of this here - of all places?
Recently I've had a few conversations where underneath all of the future and forward movement of the goals, is a story that pegs back to an emotion of shame.
When we unwound such feelings - not necessarily with all the detail – they come to a natural completion, their grip and power loosened. Working with the gentle, sensitive movement the body, the reality is often less overwhelming and scary than anticipated. Thankfully.
Circling back to Brene, she suggests a shame buddy. When you do feel shame, you call, explain, they listen and acknowledge. You both let it be there, no pushing it away. The shame loosens up and keeps you away from the grip of perfection.
