The Art of Leadership is in the Pause.

The Art of Leadership is in the Pause. I’m not sure whether I have read this somewhere or whether this is an original thought of my own.

I don’t suppose it matters much from whence it came. Just, can I pause here long enough to observe? Can I pause here long enough to re-collect myself? Can I pause here long enough to fully let go that conversation before entering into this one? Can I pause here long enough to come fully present into the next moment?

How often during the day do you task switch, or conversation switch? How often in the day do you move from meeting to meeting without a pause? Even a 20 second pause.

A pause in which you bring attention back to the feltness of your body, back to your feet, your legs, your sit bones, your belly, your breath, your back, your rib cage, your neck, jaw, cheekbones, eyes, your head.

A pause in which your body literally lets go of what just momentarily came before, and a pause in which you can right now come back to the present moment.

Just for a second. And then you stay a second longer.

Noticing the impulse to move to the next thing, and waiting, just a second longer.

And when you feel the vestiges of what just went before melt away maybe only just for now, then you move.

Can YOU Pause?

Head, Heart, Grounded Compassion. Do you need a Counsellor Troi?

Image by John Hain from Pixababy

I harbour a guilty secret. One worse than loving chocolate. I used to love Star Trek - The Next Generation. (I also love Abba, and The Carpenters and thanks to a recent Tik Tok meme, John Denver has been inflicted at home too). Middle of the road me!

Back to Star Trek. Choosing one favourite character is a challenge.

Picard for his cool, calm,

Riker for his dogged loyatly,

Dr Crusher for her careful matter of factness.

Beta for is sardonic unintentional humour and Worf for his deeply buried sensitivity.

And then there is Deanna Troi.

The actress who played her - according to Wiki - said she was thrilled getting her Starfleet uniform - a fully fledged member of the team rather than eye candy (I paraphrase).

I loved Troi for her passion, her vision and her wisdom.

She always had something to offer Picard. In fact everyone on the crew got the benefit of her empathic nature at some point.

Led by that blend of head and heart and grounded compassion, she remained human, contactable, and I think precisely because she worked with her own inner game.

She worked with her fallibility, her fierce need for perfection and dependency. Only half human she may have been, but this half was her real value.

Do you think we all need a Counsellor Troi in our lives?

One best piece of Leadership Advice

Image by Marius Walter on Unsplash.com

“Beverley” he said “Do you know what that is up there?” pointing up at the clear blue sky full of glorious sunshine. It was the first time we had met and we were walking to a restaurant, crossing one of Barcelona’s busy streets.

“That Beverley is The Sun’.

“I know you don’t get to see that very often in the UK so I want you to take a good look at it”.

(presumably he didn’t mean directly with my naked eyes did he?)

He burst out laughing at his own joke. One I think he tripped out often with my other UK colleagues.

Randy Partee was an ebullient, much larger than life personality. He’d not been long in Barcelona, appointed to head up the European arm of the largest dry pet food manufacturer in the world.

Later I joined the ERP project team. An implementation canned 3 weeks before Go Live, overtaken by Nestle using SAP.

Although not his brief, when the future got really sticky with the impending acquisition, Randy stepped in.

“You can ask me anything. I’ll do one of three things. I’ll tell you what I know, I’ll tell you I don’t know and will find out, or I’ll tell you I know but I can’t share.”

This was a fair deal. I’ve referenced it in my coaching - it's straight and clear - there are no other good options.

Randy Partee RIP 2009, aged 54

Leadership through COVID - key questions

As we tinker at the edges with COVID, I see yet another pull away from what we think we know towards what we don’t.

How do we lead in times such as this? If we thought the world was complex I reflect, that was the practice run! So where does that leave us?

How do we let go of needing to know - that’s where I find myself? Surely, given what I offer, I should have some answers? What an irony...

I’m wondering that this is what needs to be let go. The knowing of absolutes. The having the answers.

We live in a paradigm of outcomes and deliverables. We need these anchors. And yet ..

We know that complexity will continue.

Should we peel it back a bit - back to values and purpose and even before this, ask…

• How have we been living in our current paradigm? How has that living structured our world?

• How have we shaped our ways of being?

• What are we learning about this right now?

• What values do we now want to live by?

• What is the yearning that sits under those values?

• What paradigm shifts do we want to make in how we organise for living in congruence?

• What needs to be co-created to for this shift?

• What needs to transform?

• Who, then do we need to become for the sake of what we say we care about?

What would you ask?

Do you live in a paradigm of absolutes?

Post Traumatic Growth and Leadership

The choices we make in this moment will shape who we and our organizations become.

Reflecting with a client last week on the last 6 months the word ‘trauma’ was referenced.

Trauma is not the event but its impact on our bodies and nervous systems.

Broader than a simple definition here, it ultimately has to do with our capacity to return to our ‘window of tolerance’ (the safe zone).

If we are not able to fully return to this zone, because we have been unable to fully process and clear the impact, we remain in overwhelm. The way in which lives have been impacted either directly or vicariously makes this a risk.

This HBR article suggests that as we move forwards we should be asking how we will be changed by our experience - how might we change for the better. It points to values and purpose, and how 9/11 directed us towards Post Traumatic Growth.

I love these questions - what is the life we are moving towards as part of our recovery. For me this is not to deny our experience but instead, acknowledge rather than hide, negate or dumb down whilst at the same time moving forwards. Holding both enquiries with tenderness, empathy and care. What are we building?

Are you ready?

https://hbr.org/2020/09/dont-just-lead-your-people-through-trauma-help-them-grow

Sometimes we have to consciously let go and begin the fall

I’m at the edge, looking 2000 feet below. For a moment I can’t breathe. Just minutes before I’d shuffled on my bum lining up behind others. Minutes before that I’d clambered in - my first flight. I was 21 years old.

A light aircraft. My glee as we bounced across the grass runway. The excitement of flying tingled with the nerves of what I was about to do.

I recall that the first planned jump was postponed. Psyched up and then, it didn’t happen.

A week later - a call. We’d jump in a few hours.

That moment perched on the edge, I’m contemplating not doing it, not sure I can.

I recall telling myself to let my hands loosen their grip. You don’t push out. You fall out. A conscious decision to let go.

The sound of the wind was incredible. Absolutely exhilarating. 1000, 2000, 3000, 4000 check canopy. No need to look up - the sound and the pull up tells you it’s open,

But you must. To check it has opened correctly.

So little sound. This must be how it is for a bird I think.

So many years later I still feel in my body the sensation of peace and calm and just gently floating. And then, I have to land. Over all too soon.

One day, a 10,000 tandem - longer to enjoy the ride.

Have you ever done something exhilarating?

Or consciously - had to let go?

Mend My Life - The Journey by Mary Oliver

Do you like poetry? Did you sit hrough school listening to poetry you didn’t understand with words that didn’t make sense? With images that seemed dark and unfathomable. And the whole thing was boring!

That was my poetry experience at school. Except for limericks. I did like a good limerick, fun to make up and read aloud.

Inspired by a post I saw on LinkedIn about dreams, plans and goals, I heard the line ‘Mend My Life’ in my head.

A line from the poem The Journey by Mary Oliver. For me, it’s a poem about the power of change and transition. How there is something that burns deep within, that has a forward movement. How we move towards that something, breaking free from the ties that would bind

'Mend my life' those ties shout at you. And you step forwards, with determination and courage.

I’ve not been one for organising the trajectory of my life around tightly bound plans. But I have been blessed with a sense of direction, knowing what my first step would be at 16, my next steps by 30, a dream for 40, and now for 70. Something about life path working within. And I know how fortunate that is. There is here, as Mary Oliver says, a journey of sorts

Have you been blessed with such a journey?

Improving psychological safety in the workplace is down to personal leadership

It was like listening to the sound of a depth charge drop all the way to the bottom of the ocean. Silence. One of the core jobs of a leader is to create safety I’d said.

Psychological safety. Without it people hold back from bringing their gifts and talents, mistakes are hidden and learning doesn’t happen.

It doesn’t mean creating the cosy club or trading ambition and accountability for the comfort zone. To the contrary. Done well, psychologically safe places enhance performance.

I’m particularly interested in how leaders do this from the inside out.

Inside, how are you with your own fallibility?

How do you react when a mistake has been made?

How present are you? Listening to explain, or to understand? Monkey mind, or paying attention?

Genuinely curious, or curious only to see what ideas align with yours?

Clear on your purpose and how it enlivens you and your team?

How do you work with your own biases?

How does ‘No’ sit with you on the inside? Do you want to listen?

Do you ask ‘What do I need to learn from this team? And, perhaps the biggest of all, are you willing to be seen in that?

One of our deepest human needs is for safety and it’s easier to create for others if we experience our psychological safety.

What would you add?

Resilience comes from ...

I want to work for Google she said. They do mindfulness and they’ve got pods with sofa’s in for relaxing. And there’s this penthouse that looks so cool. And you can take your pets to work, oh and they’ll let you study if you want to…

I'd just come from a coaching development call in which the practice was building embodied resilience. Today, resilience needs no introduction, but the idea of embodied resilience?

Let’s take a step back. YOU are the embodiment of what you practice. Everything about you is what you embody. What then do you practice to help you bounce back to resourceful equilibrium?

Sometimes we might just 'suck it up'. This is not a resilience that replenishes and resources. Rarely is it creative. For innate powerful resilience we must self-care.

Studies consistently show the best practices for this are:

• Being in Nature - builds perspective.

• Connection - with just one other person is all it needs

• Helping others

• Imagination - for a positive and sustaining future

• Meaning Making – making sense, fuelling purpose

• Animals – as any pet owner knows!

All offer community and/or connection.

Is self-care important to you? Or do you baulk at the term? Does it help to reframe as ‘I’m practicing building authentic resilience’?